Hey there! I have been in a reading kick ever since the new year began, and I have been reading books all over the genre board (when I actually have time to read…which is way less often than I’d like…). One book that I just can’t get enough of is Hope Unfolding by Becky Thompson. EVERY SINGLE MOM needs to read this book. She shares her story about motherhood and marriage, all while reminding you that you aren’t alone and guiding you to encounter God’s presence in your life. Basically, I want to be friends with her. I stalk her on Instagram. So there’s that.
Anyways…I thought it would be fun to share something that I have been reading from her book recently. Now, I will be quoting her a lot, but what she has to say is so good that I couldn’t do it justice in my own words…but I found this so relatable.
Becky talks about how when they first found out they were pregnant, they planned everything out as it was going to be…what kind of diapers they will use, what kind of wipes, will they sleep train etc…can we all relate to this?!? As new parents, we think we can figure out everything ahead of time! But babies have a mind of their own…
Becky and her husband did a birthing class like most couples do, learning about delivery, what kinds of crazy things will be happening…they were super happy with the class, but what resonated with me is that she said looking back, if she could teach a class to new parents, this is what she would say…
But what wasn’t covered in that course, what would have been infinitely more valuable than any information we received in those few weeks, was the offering of a few simple words, “Ladies, before you were a Mommy, you were his. Men, before you were a daddy, you were hers.”
Ladies, there will come a day when your husband walks in the door that you do not turn around. You will be preoccupied with filling sippy cups and wiping booties. You will shout over the running bath water “Hey, glad you’re home!” But it won’t mean what it used to mean. It won’t be full of eager anticipation to spend time together. It will be full of expectation that he will aid in meeting the demands of the family…the husband that once completed your heart will be just one more person that needs you. The charming things that you fell for will go unnoticed. Men, there will come a time when that beautiful bride sitting next to you hasn’t showered in days. She will be at her wit’s end, wearing other people’s food and poop on her clothing. She will need to hear that she is beautiful, but won’t listen to you. She will need to know that she is still lovable, but she won’t want you near her. When you arrive home after meeting the demands of work, you will be expected to meet the demands of your family.
But ladies, when Mommy becomes your name, remember this man. Remember that you are his wife. Remember how much you love and appreciate him in this moment. Remember his dedication to your family. Remember his love and devotion to you. Men, remember your bride. The care and love that she has given you will soon be poured into your children. Her love for you will not change. Give her the grace to be enough even when she doesn’t feel like it. Remember when your days are long, hers are too.
Remember each other. Let the Lord lead you both together. Because when the days are endless and the hours short, it will be only His love that will keep you together. It will only be His mercy that gently guides your hearts as one.
WOW. Doesn’t that hit home? I don’t mean to share this to be negative about parenthood or marriage, but life is different with kids. And it is so easy to forget who we were before we were parents. I love how Becky sums it up by saying it is HIS love and mercy that will get us through each day. Not us. Not our love.
She goes on to ask herself how she can show her husband she still loves him when she feels like she has nothing left to give most days.
The truth is, there is a way to begin to operate out of an overflow instead of on fumes, because the Lord desires that we live feeling fulfilled and not low-fueled. We just need to stop and fill up before we run out, and we need to admit that trying to make it on our own will only lead to a burnout.
She uses the analogy of a car needing gas to function. You can’t put something other than gas in your car, or it won’t run. Just like we can’t expect to fill our lives with anything other than the Spirit of the Lord and expect it to function like it should.
…because when God made us, He made us to find completion in Him. He created us to require–yes require–a relationship with Him in order to operate correctly. He didn’t design us so that we could live life fully without Him. Your heart is designed to require a continual fellowship with the Father so that He can be the source of your strength.
I love this so much. I forget so often that I can’t do this life on my own. Even when things seems to be going well, that doesn’t mean I don’t need Him. He created us to have a relationship with Him. That is our only purpose on earth. To be in relationship with Christ and tell others about it. Life isn’t going to be perfect. Motherhood isn’t going to be perfect (can I get an AMEN?!). But a relationship with the Father is perfect. And that is the fuel we need to conquer this crazy life.
Y’all. You HAVE to get this book (I linked it for you in the first paragraph). Becky starts the book off by saying that she is going to refer to you as “friend” because that is how she feels about you. And who doesn’t need another mama friend going through the same things you are?!
Mamas! Be encouraged that even when things are hard, we aren’t in this alone! The most important thing we can do for our kiddos is to raise them to love Jesus and to know how much He loves them. If we have accomplished that, we have won.
Until next time!